Been thinking about some sexy sex. We don't have a schedule since he thinks it's not-sex-inducing, but I know that when I want it, he generally doesn't want it. When he wants it and I don't, which is mostly cause I had been just about to do something or am feeling grubby or whatnot, he licks my asshole. To which I get quite grouchy, and he says I'm no fun and stops messing around, but I feel like I just pissed on his parade. And he mopes off and I feel terrible.
But when he doesn't want it, he says, "I don't feel like it," to which I feel terrible. And I know we're supposed to be in this relationship, but he never makes me if I'm not into it, and lately, not so much kink, so I get really frustrated.
I want kink back. I try to entice him into it. I try to needle him into it. I try flat out saying it, but his heart's not really in it. And I feel terrible.
I feel like this is way too honeymoon period for us to have lost this already. He still wants sex and to eat my pussy and ass, and to fist me and other sex-type things, but I want a goddamn spanking, and a long one and one where he's really into it. But he thinks it's too loud and stuff.
AH! I'm so damn irritable right now! And I should be grateful for his unbelievable mouth that makes me cum over and over, long and steady, that wakes me up so gently and learns every little nuance of my body...and I am...Jesus, I am.
But I'm a spanko. And I know I could live without sex before I could live without spanking. And I feel like a failure and a louse for wanting more. Am I being an ungrateful tramp?
Little Big Update
6 years ago
