I'm great.

Hey, so I'm pretty great. Here's why:

1. I make up songs all the time and only some of them are about wieners.
2. I do little dances when I hear songs in commercials.
3. I like Alan Rickman.
4. My hair is touchable and soft.
5. I show people all my shoes, and say why I like them.
6. My cats think I'm pretty cool. Or so they said.
7. I get jazzed when the Free Credit Report.com commercials come on.
8. I comment on the production value of all TV movies at length.
9. I have a library card and once had a forty-five dollar overdue fine. Take that, reading!!
10. I can weld but I don't brag about it.
11. I make executive decisions about what parts of my hoo to shave and then I work it.
12. I make up words (like 'jubbles' to describe my belly).
    

That'll do for know. I just wanted you to have some qualifications for reading this blog...you know, in case you were like, Who the fuck IS this broad?