Pamper (-s/-ed)?

Yesterday, when we were out shopping for a rice cooker and a hummingbird feeder, Papu bought me a pack of diapers. We were watching a special on ABs a while back, and though I found the representative, a woman named Katie/Baby Ella, cringe-worthy, it reminded me about some things we have been talking about regarding expanding our level of AP.

First, it took me quite a while to be okay with AP in any format. I used to be stringently opposed and had a knee-jerk gag reaction. I think mostly because my exposure had been through the google searches and internet chat sites (the AP forums at Spanking Community), documentaries, and your occasional television reference, none of which made me want any part of it. Over time, though, Papu dismantled my barriers and I have found myself wanting it, really wanting it.

Papu is a great Daddy. He is soft and loving, and moreover, really wants it too. He puts me on his lap and bounces me, kisses my forehead, reads me stories and buys me toys and coloring books, makes me treats, gives me binkies and calls me little girl. I feel adored.

And then, he takes it a step further. Ours is not a relationship where there are boundaries between AP and BDSM. It makes me crazy wet when he is lying on top of me, asking me if I want his big Daddy cock in my baby hole. He tells me that I can't tell anyone about it because they would never understand, makes me promise, tells me it would get him in a lot of trouble if someone found out that he touched his baby girl in all my naughty places.

And then he shows me how to do it. Slowly, making sure I'm okay, that I'm not hurting too much. He tells me that I am never allowed to let anyone else touch me like Daddy does. He tells me he knows I'm a bad girl and a little slut and I can't help it, but that no one but Daddy is ever allowed between my legs. And I promise, pushing my soaking pussy up against him.

So, when he asked me last night if I wanted to try my diapers on, I don't know why I was so hesitant. I was embarrassed. I told him so and he took me into the bedroom anyway and pulled off my pajamas and powdered my cunt and bottom, then put them on me anyway. It felt strange, I'm not going to lie. I wanted to do it, theoretically, sure, but when I was there in diapers, I couldn't stop thinking about old people in diapers.

I asked Papu to set up my pen. I thought that maybe I could get into it more if I was in a crib. I kept thinking about Baby Ella and how much I did not want to be that girl with her annoying baby voice asking for peanut butter ice cream, referring to herself in the third person like a schizo. I tried to push those thoughts away and play with my cat in the pen. I liked it when Papu said that I was a much cuter and sassier version than Baby Ella. That I didn't AP in such an irritating way. Except that he must have been thinking about that documentary too. Worrying.

I put my hair in pigtails to try it out. I don't really do that. It was cute, but I didn't think that Papu was really that into it anymore. He was getting bored and jumpy and so I put the crib away. It's hard to stay in a little mind space when Papu is irritable. The last thing I want is a fight while I'm in diapers.

I knew he wanted to beat me. He kept telling me he wanted to, and eventually, at a commercial break, he took me, protesting, back into the bedroom and had me bend over the foot board. He wanted to hit me with the new wire switch as hard as he could cause I was wearing the diaper. I was pretty scared, but he tried some littler swats first. Suddenly, he swung so hard. I shrieked and fell on the floor, rubbing my butt and crying. The switch had gone around the padding and caught the one side of my cheek with the sharp, sanded end.

But Papu was kind and said he wouldn't do it like that again, kissing my cheeks and helping me back up. He pulled down the diaper and started with the switch again. I was crying really shortly. I hardly ever cry with floggers, paddles, brushes, lengths of knotted rope, but those little whippy things fuck me up. And they hurt more after the initial swing.

Anyway, he wailed on me with the wire for a while, then with the short leather crop and finally with the bath brush. I was crying and I couldn't stop the whole time. He told me to look at him, then kissed my face and lips, asked me if I wanted to be fucked. He had already fucked me earlier in the afternoon. It was really passionate (the romantic kind of passionate, which is a deviation from our normal, rough kind of passionate) and we both felt spent relief after. But I love dick, so of course I said yes. Well, I begged as he prefers.

The diapers did not come back on afterward. I was tired and as I had already told him that I didn't think I could just up and pee in them, he didn't insist.

Like I said, he's a really good Daddy. I love being his little princess.